Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Once Upon a Bible

Once upon a time there was a man named Abraham.  Abraham talked to God. They would have lots of interesting conversations that people from all over the world would travel far and wide to hear.  Abraham helped people talk to God which is what made him special.  One day God said to Abraham that he would have "as many children as there are stars in the sky".  "Well," said Abraham, "I'd better get started!"  And he ran home to his wife Sarah, with a BIG smile on his face.
As the days turned to months, Sarah and Abraham still had no children.  Polygamy being more common then, Sarah suggested that Abraham do it with her maid Hagar and see if anything happens.  And it did!  Hagar had a boy and he was named Ishmael.  That's one star
It would be about 13 years until Abraham would have another son.  In the mean time, Abraham taught Ishmael everything he knew.  They had a good father son relationship.  Hagar, on the other hand, wasn't so secure.  You see, Sarah was still the favored wife and still had no children.  Hagar wanted her out!  She wanted to be sure that her son would inherit whatever they inherited back then... Sarah had to do something, and quick! So she prayed and was guided to take herbs and tinctures and try different sexual positions and lo and behold, she became pregnant and beautiful! And  Abraham was pleased, for he'd never tried positions like that before!  Nine moons later a son was born, and he was named Isaac.  That's two stars
God then told Abraham about circumcision...  So, at the age of 90 Abraham took a blade and cut his own foreskin. So much for every star in the sky!  He then took the blade to Ishmael who was 13 years old.  It took a little convincing, but Abraham said something about entering manhood, and so it was.  Isaac was 7 days old.  One day he would find himself on a sacrificial alter with his father holding the blade, this time to his throat.  That experience he would remember, not this one.
It would take a few days for them to recover.
Then one day something terrible happened.  To this day no one really knows what it was.  Sarah and Hagar fought over their son's birthright,  but neither woman knew the true fate of those two brothers.  You see, Ishmael would become that father of the Arab nation and Isaac the father of the Israeli nation.  The fate of these nations would determine the fate of the world for generations to come!
It came to be that Hagar and Ishmael were cast into the desert, with only enough food and water for 3 days.  While this was enough to sustain them until they got to the tribe next door, Hagar was mad and would cry about the injustice done to her and her son!  They got lost, ran our of food and water and Hagar sent Ishmael away as she sat under a tree and perished.
As for the brothers, all that was left to tell was their story of injustice and how sad it was for them to be separated.  But they had one thing in common, their God.  They would pray and know that they are One.  But, as the brothers passed on and the stories lived on, the Love between brothers would be forgotten and the nation of Ishmael and the nation of Isaac would grow and fight each other for generations.  Over 4000 years the war would go on.  Neither side knowing or remembering why the  war was started in the first place.  It had just become a habit to fight and to hate.
But one day, God returned to Earth, and the two nations remembered that they are brothers, and they lay down their weapons and embraced in love and joy.  And Peace rippled around the world and across the universe!
AND IT WAS GOOD

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